Peeved

I’m going to tell you my 15 biggest pet peeves and annoyances because why not? You will quickly learn that I strongly dislike having weird substances on my hands and I don’t like people who treat other people badly/stupidly.  I’m sure a lot of these are relatable for some people and I’m not saying that I’m completely innocent in the use of/behaviors that are expressed here. These are not pointed at anyone directly and please don’t take offense at them. < That sentence sounds like a disclaimer. Here goes:

1. Butter on my hands –Butter is the WORST. It feels so nasty and slippery; a close second is egg yolky stuff, and then other oily things like….well, oil.

2. Eating loud foods in quiet places – do you really need to eat chips in the library? (I’m looking at you LECOM. Carrots for god’s sake) If we are in a place for eating, eat away! It’s a free country so eat as loudly as you want. But lets keep quiet places quiet, shall we?

3. Misuse of literally – you cannot say, “I literally died.” You didn’t. You figuratively died. Literally means precisely, actually, factually and truly. Figuratively means metaphorically. Please use them correctly, I am literally done with misuse.

4. Those people who ask questions when class is 2 minutes from being over – WHY? Everyone is so ready to leave, and you ask a question that requires a 5-minute answer. That is not okay, and now you are “that guy.” You silly college student. Take my advice, ask the teacher by yourself when everyone else has left.

5. Bad drivers – I’m pretty sure that everyone hates bad drivers. The main offenses:

  • No turn signal – come on, its so easy, just flip the lever.
  • Cutting me off – just not nice
  • Tailgating – all you’re making me do is stay in front of you so I can annoy you.
  • Not using lights correctly – Green means go. Yellow means go but cautiously and quickly. Red means stop. **The more you know**

6. Wal-Mart moms – this doesn’t mean all moms in Wal-Mart, just the ones who are in there at 11:30pm with a 3 year old who is crying because they’re tired and the mom screams at them. You, ma’am, are an asshole. Take your child home and put them to bed and buy your snuggie tomorrow. (Real life example!)

7. Styrofoam – this came from a recent epiphany after unpacking Christmas decorations and those little white pieces were on my clothes. IT. GETS. EVERYWHERE. And it’s impossible to get off. Also it makes that horrible squeaky noise whenever it rubs against anything. The kind of noise that makes your ears bleed, figuratively. Engineers of the world: 1 Everybody’s ears: 0.

8. Staring (easily fixed) – people don’t need to stare. It’s not nice. Luckily, it is so very easily fixed. Here’s what you do when you find someone staring at you:

  1. Make eye contact and stare intently back until they become so awkward that they look away.
  2. Laugh in triumph.

This technique does not apply while you are behind the wheel of a car, but it is perfectly acceptable in the passenger’s seat.

9. Speed Bumps – lets face it, they don’t work and everyone hates them. Enough said.

10. Music ADD – okay, I was infected with it for much of my high school life. I understand skipping the last few seconds of a song, but don’t listen to a song for a minute and then switch it to another song. And it is always when someone else is just getting into the song and starting to sing it (me, mostly), when you change it in the middle of my rock out session. Then we both look silly. Moral of the story: appreciate each song for its whole duration, life will be happier.

11. People who call other people hun and babe – unless you are 60+, calling someone hun is not cute. I think it sounds condescending and I feel like there are better words you can use. Please don’t call me hun. As far as babe goes, its one of those endearments that makes me feel awkward. Also, it makes me think of the talking pig.  If I ever call someone babe, please shoot me.

12. Texting and driving – its unsafe, unnecessary, and stupid. Your life is way more valuable than a text message, no matter what it is about. Anyone who texts while driving is automatically a terrible driver. Also, your car is really, really expensive and wouldn’t look good wrapped around a tree. Stop. Texting.

13. Bad Grammar – I’m not trying to be a grammar Nazi but some words really aren’t that hard to use. Good thing I can teach you about the 3 biggest offenders.

They’re, their and there: They’re going there so they can see their parents.

Your and you’re: You’re so funny. This is your room.

Two, To, and Too: It is too far away. There are two of them. We are going to the fair.

14. CHARCOAL – Another recent development caused by my drawing class this past semester. It dyes your skin black for several days to weeks, depending on how much you accidently grind into your skin. We probably had 10 charcoal assignments for class and I’m pretty sure my roommate hates me a little bit because no matter how much I sweep, there is always charcoal on our floor and therefore our feet and socks. Sorry Marissa, I hate it too!

15. Anticlimactic endings – and that is all I’ve got. 😉

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Cereal Prizes. Kid Tested. Mother Approved.

Cereal is boring, right? WRONG. Now you may say, Mary, what a ridiculous way to start a blog post. And you’d be right, but cereal is in no way boring, and I am very passionate about it. What do I get from cereal? Well fiber for one, heart healthy grains, the sense that I’m in a commercial (and yes, I have practiced that “I am totally enjoying this cereal commercial look, who hasn’t). But most of all, I get… my childhood. Well at least the technology part of it.

Cereal boxes contained the best “free” prizes in the world. It had prizes like Hotwheels cars, spoons with lightsaber handles(!!!!) and little spongebob toys but the best prizes were CD’s with classic games like Oregon Trail, Amazon Trail, Liberty Kids, Backyard Baseball, and my personal favorite, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? What more could a kid want? General Mills and Kellogg’s were seriously my best friends in the whole world. My childhood was chiefly made up of playing outside because we had a big yard and lots of neighborhood kids to play with. Due to this, computer time was severely limited and honestly not very desired at the time but, because of the largely educational value of many of these cereal computer games, we were allowed to play.

What kid from the 2000’s hasn’t played Oregon Trail? I probably started about a thousand journeys because the best part was making your wagon train in Independence. You got to pick a name, a profession, and a wagon leader AND decide which supplies you were going to buy. Would your strategy be to buy all ammunition and fishing supplies so that you could spend a ridiculous time hunting and figuring out how to fish? This selection seemed to be popular with my brothers; one time I’m pretty sure that they killed like 20 buffalos in a buffalo stampede and had 3,000 lbs of meat…I don’t think the Indians liked them very much. Or would you actually try to reach the end of the trail, picking intelligent people and buy medicine and vegetables so that your travelers wouldn’t die of dysentery and scurvy by the next town (an all too common occurrence). Also, I don’t believe that any wagon could have capsized in rivers as much as all that. I think I may have won/actually finished the game twice…maybe.

My favorite game, Carmen Sandiego, was so awesome! For those that don’t know, I pity you. This game was a nerdy kids dream with word puzzles, mystery and hidden item games. You were agent 13 and had to free all of the previous agents in order to get to catch Carmen, this evil genius, and you had to travel the whole world and solve puzzles to free the agents. I’m pretty sure I learned at least half of my vocabulary words and all of the spelling for them with this game. Liberty Kids was great too, you went around interviewing people about the American Revolution and its battles and “meeting” important people like George Washington, Ben Franklin and Abigail Adams. I learned a whole lot from this game as well and my love of history was certainly influenced by this silly little adventure game that I got in a cereal box.

All the other games, Clue, Amazon Trail and Backyard Baseball, to name a few, were just as cool and I spent way too much time playing them as well but they were all we had in the way of computer/video game entertainment at the time. However, the best part of all of these games was that they came with cereal. Yes, I love cereal. And that’s okay because the games came with awesome cereals like Lucky Charms, Trix and Honey Nut Cheerios, which, we all know, are delicious. So that’s my bit of 90’s and early 2000’s nostalgia for the night and hopefully I’ll be back soon with another random subject. It is Christmas break after all!!!

**insert happy dance here**

 

Thanks for Reading! 🙂